images

Day 24…..Sunday.

Your father went home mid morning and I was alone again with you turning somersaults. I laid on the sofa with a cup of tea and the cats came for cuddles, but it is getting harder for them to cuddle up like they used to. You are taking up room on my lap and they are not impressed.

Nana and Papa came to see me in the afternoon and helped with trimming the front and back doors. You see in the winter the cold and damp makes the wood swell and the doors are difficult to open. but they have been trimmed so many times now, that in the summer there is a gap you can see day light through!

Nana and I sort out things in you room, putting away things we have bought for you and talking about things I could do to turn the room into a nursery for you. I feel excited. Nana and Papa have bought some beautiful clothes for when you are a big boy. You are going to be such a cool dude, very handsome indeed.

I love looking at all the things we have got for you, it makes it so real. And I realise you are going to be here in just 12 weeks, and it seems no time at all.

I cooked a pasta dish for the three of us but it was not that nice, well I didn’t think so anyway. I think I am over tried again, and am in need of an early night before the working week begins again.


Days 25 – 29 Monday to Friday

The working week is feeling much more normal, although there is a constant flow of enthusiastic enquiries as to how I am doing, how long I have to go and how you are.

I have always known it can happen, but I was a little surprised when I women I work with, but hardly know, stopped to talk to me and promptly put her hand on my tummy without batting an eyelid. It felt very odd to have a virtual stranger touch me in that way and to be honest I felt quite uncomfortable. I was not rude, but I did take a step back and she moved away. I would not have a problem if someone asked to feel my bump, especially the ladies and young gentlemen I work closely with. I know them, they are friends, they have an interest in me and you, but not someone I don’t know.

On Tuesday I went to see the Midwife at the medical centre, I went a whole 24 hours early! Telling the whole world this on Facebook might not have been a great idea, but at least I can use Baby brain as an excuse, and at least I was 24 hours early, and not late. Come to think of it I have been very forgetful and uncommonly stupid lately, I guess it is all down to baby brain and not just being very thick!

I managed to remember to go and see the midwife at the correct time and she was lovely. We talked about you and how you are growing, she listened to your heartbeat and told me all about the antenatal classes that she though would be of help to me, but also your father. I doubt very much if he will want to come with me to the classes, I don’t think he will understand that they are as much for expectant fathers as they are for Mum’s.

It is important to me that your father be involved with everything that is happening and does not feel left out. I want him to understand the changes I am going through but also you too. But there are times when he is shut away in his own world and nothing can bring him out. I keep recalling what he said, and understand that this truly feels, for him, as though this is not happening and I am a friend who happens to be having a baby.

Friday brought another visit to the antenatal clinic, so I went to work for most of the day and left early to make the appointment. I saw a different Doctor who was very off hand and I thought quite rude, happily I was not with her for long and other than reading my medical notes and asking some question, she did nothing.

A little later I had a haircut and the young hairdresser was fascinated by our story. We nattered about you and whether I should have my hair coloured or not. She seemed very excited all about you, to be honest most people I speak to are. Considering I have PCOS, am almost 40, and was on the pill, everything would suggest I should not be having you at all. I have lost count the number of times I have heard someone say…………Your little boy is very special………A gift………A mirical……….An Angel

I could not agree more………You are and I know it.